Confusion
by robertwnielsen
Summary: Dom's simple question has Hawke doing some serious thinking about Caitlin-and feeling very confused.
1. Chapter 1

_Confusion—A Modified Drabble_

_Disclaimer—_Don't own the characters, just playing again.

**A/N:** This will be based on Elanquest's challenge in Chap. 8 of her story _Tidbits._ Tried to do a drabble, but couldn't keep it under one hundred words. The line, '_Now, if I could only find a way to locate my balls and tell her exactly how I feel about her,' _is borrowed from rainbow severus, from her and av981638's excellent fic _Ultimate Betrayal, _and 'Ready-to-Rumble' Romie is Staff Sergeant Romanski, from my _Class Reunion _storyline, among others. Enjoy!-Robert

"String?"

"Yeah?"

"You still think she's a kid?"

"Who?"

"Ha! _'Who?', _you say. You know perfectly well who, ya dumb donkey!"

_Yeah, I do know,_ I thought, realizing Dom was asking me about Caitlin, _again._

"So?"

"I think I'll plead the 5th, if it's okay with you, Dom," I said, almost knowing his answer before I heard it.

"No, it's _not _okay with me, String!" I suddenly felt very glad that Caitlin had walked into the office and closed the door behind her. "When are you gonna admit how you feel about Caitlin, for God's sake?"

"I dunno, Dom. I honestly don't know." I admitted. _I mean, she's most definitely the only woman since Kelly who really gets my sense of humor; or who gets me. Now, if I could only find a way to locate my balls and tell her exactly how I feel about her, _I thought.

"You know what old 'Ready-To-Rumble' would say in a case like this, don'cha, String?" Dom demanded.

"Yeah," I said, even as I recalled 'Ready-To-Rumble' Romie, who'd been my senior drill instructor at Fort Jackson; "He'd probably look me dead in my face and yell, 'C'mon, 'Chicken Hawke!' Sound off like you've _got a pair,_ and tell her the truth!' Or something like that." Just then, I heard the door open and saw Cait walking toward us.

"Here's your chance, kid," Dom said, smiling as he walked away. As I watched Cait come toward me, I was more confused about how to respond to her than I could ever recall feeling; and that's a feeling I definitely do _not_ like. _Oh, well,_ I thought, _I'll figure something out. I hope._

**The End?**


	2. Chapter 2

_Confusion, Chap. 2_

**A/N: **Continuing the story by request.

When Cait got closer to me, I realized something was very, very wrong. _She's been crying,_ I thought, noticing the tear streaks down her face. "Cait? You okay?" I asked.

"No, I'm not okay, String. John called when I was in the office earlier, and he—he told me our relationship was over." John, I knew, was the guy Cait had been dating. I'd seen him around the hangar a few times, and he seemed like a nice enough guy, except that he had eyes for Caitlin. That was something else that bothered, and confused me—why the hell did it bother me so much that John had eyes for Cait?

"What happened?" I suddenly felt my heart beat faster when I heard that Cait's new boyfriend was now her _ex-_boyfriend, and I wondered what the new feelings meant.

"Not that it's any of your business, String," Caitlin said as she wiped her eyes, "but he-he told me he wanted more from me than I was willing to give him. He was pushin' me to sleep with him, and when he finally got the message that I wasn't gonna do it, he broke up with me. God, why do I fall for guys like him, anyway?" She burst into tears again, throwing her arms around my neck and sobbing into my shoulder. Not knowing what else to do, I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her as she cried, and I noticed something—_we fit together perfectly. It's—it's like we're made for each other._

Finally after a few minutes, Caitlin pulled back from my shoulder and looked at the stain there on my shirt. "I'm sorry, String. I didn't mean to get all emotional like that. And I've made a mess all over your shirt."

"It's okay, Cait," I said, smiling at her. "It'll wash out. I'm not worried about it, so don't you worry about it. Okay?"

"Okay, String. I just feel like such a danged fool. I mean, it seems like I always seem to fall for guys who want one thing, or they're only interested in me because of, well, you know." I knew Cait was referring to Airwolf, because of what happened with Ken Sawyer. _Not to mention Villers,_ I thought, remembering the incident during the Carter Anderson affair a year previous, when the man who was hired to kill Carter Anderson, who Cait was flying to a meeting, just happened to be the man she was dating at the time, a guy named Robert Villers. I still remember hearing Cait's voice, strained with tears, ask "Robert?", just before his Corsair exploded. And, I appreciated that she didn't mention the Lady by name, even though the hangar was deserted. _And she's right. It was none of my business, what happened between her and John,_ I thought.

"I know, Cait. But there's somebody out there for you, I'm sure of it. You just have to keep lookin', that's all."

"But what if I'm tired of lookin', String? What if I'm so sick of bein' used by jerks like Sawyer and Villers, or bein' looked at as nothin' more than a sex object like John did, that I just give up on men altogether?"

"I certainly hope you don't do that, Cait." _What the heck did I just say?_

"Why would it make a difference to you, String?"

_Think fast, Hawke. _"Um, no reason, Cait," I stammered.

"Right! If you think I believe that, buster, then you've got another think coming! I'll ask you again—Why the heck would it make any difference to you if I gave up on men?"

"I dunno, Cait. I guess I just want to see you happy. That's all." From the look in her eyes, I could tell she didn't believe me. I have to admit, I was wondering what was going through her mind at that point, although I thought I had an idea. _Probably something along the lines of, 'Why can't you just be honest about your feelings, Hawke?', or something like that._

"Hey, what's wrong?" Dom asked, having seen Caitlin's tears.

"John just dumped me," Caitlin replied.

"I hate to say it, kid, but I'm glad to hear it," Dom said, startling me.

"What?" Caitlin demanded.

"Sorry, Cait. I know you liked the guy, but I had a bad feelin' about him from the first time I met him. I got the feelin' that he only wanted one thing from you, and you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know what you mean; and you're absolutely right, Dom. That's _exactly _what he wanted, and when I finally got through to him that I wasn't going to give it to him, he dumped me. God, I feel so stupid!" Caitlin broke away from me and ran back toward the office.

"Man, that is one upset little lady," Dom said as he watched her retreating form.

"Yeah," I admitted. "I wish there was something I could do to help her."

"Maybe there is, String. You could find your balls and admit how you really feel!" Dom said.

"Dom, don't start that again," I said, glaring at him.

"Well, anyway, I came out to tell you guys it's quittin' time, so let's make sure Cait can get home okay, and then I'll take you home." I smiled at Dom as we walked back to the office together.

"Cait? You okay to go home?" Dom asked.

"Yeah," she replied. I noticed her voice sounded better, like she'd calmed down from the sobbing mess I'd held in my arms a few minutes ago. "I'll be fine. You guys don't have to worry about me."

"Cait, we worry about you because we care about you," I said. _There I go again,_ I thought, noticing Dom's glare at me. "As a good friend, that is," I added hastily.

"Thanks. I'll be okay, really. Probably drown my sorrows in a couple of bowls of ice cream or somethin' like that, but I'll be fine. I'll see you guys in the mornin', okay?"

"Okay, Cait," I said, smiling at her. She turned and walked to her car, and was on her way home a few minutes later. Dom and I finished closing down the hangar and then climbed into a helicopter so I could go home.

"String, why on earth did you say that?" Dom demanded.

"Dom. I _don't _want to talk about it," I said, turning my head to look out the co-pilot's window. I hoped that would give Dom the message that I didn't want to be bothered, and fortunately, it did. He didn't say another word until we had set down on the dock.

"String, what in the world are you thinkin'?" Dom asked as I unstrapped.

"I-I dunno, Dom," I admitted, frustrated that I couldn't give him a straight answer. I opened the co-pilot's side door and climbed out. "I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Okay, kid." I stepped back as Dom throttled the helicopter up and lifted off, turning toward Van Nuys again. That's when I looked down and saw Tet staring up at me.

"Yeah," I said as I headed inside to get my fishing gear. A few minutes later, I was out on the lake, trying to catch a trout for dinner, and my thoughts turned back to Caitlin, as they'd been doing a lot more often the past few weeks.


	3. Chapter 3

_Confusion, Chap. 3_

**A/N: **Okay, so I've completely blown the 'drabble' thing up, with Chap. 2 and now this chapter. My apologies.-Robert

As I ate my trout that night, I found my thoughts going back to Caitlin again. And I realized that I was feeling something that I hadn't felt in a _very _long time—that I was falling in love with her. _Or maybe I've been in love with her from the beginning,_ I thought, _and just been too damned stubborn to admit it. Maybe Saint John can help me,_ I thought as I finished eating and did the dishes.

Later that evening, as I sat in front of the fire with a glass of wine, I found myself thinking about every time Cait had been in danger since she came to California, and that she'd survived each time. _Of course, I hadn't admitted my feelings about her,_ I thought, trying to justify why she kept coming back to us—to _me—_in light of the curse I felt like I had on me.

_But Sinj is home now, and he's alive,_ I thought, _and that busts a pretty damned big hole in that stupid curse. Plus, there's Dom. He's been backin' me on Airwolf missions ever since Michael asked me to steal the Lady back, and he's still here. And of course, Caitlin. _I sighed as I finished off my wine and headed upstairs to bed. _Well,_ I thought as I closed my eyes, _I'll figure it out, eventually. _And for some strange reason, I kept seeing Caitlin's tear-streaked face at the forefront of my thoughts. _Even with her eyes all red and puffy from crying, she's beautiful, _I thought. Finally, my mind quieted and allowed me to fall asleep.

I wish like heck I could say that my emotions were settled when Dom came to get me the next morning, but if I said that, I'd be lying. I didn't say a word until we'd arrived at the hangar, and then my first words were in response to something Cait said.

"String, you okay? You look almost as upset as I was yesterday," she said, smiling up at me.

"Not really, Cait. I-I've just got a lot on my mind right now, that's all."

"Want to talk about it?"

_Oh, no,_ I thought. "Nah, Cait. It's-it's just somethin' I've gotta figure out on my own. Don't worry about me, okay?"

"String, I worry about you because I care about you." I stifled a smile as I heard the echoes of my words to her the day before. "As a good friend, that is. Just like you said to me."

_Is that all, Cait?_ I wondered, remembering what Dom had told me Cait had said before they rescued me from Horn. "Thanks, Cait, but just like you said yesterday, I'll be fine."

"Okay, String." I smiled at her as we got back to work.

"Penny for 'em, little brother?" Saint John asked me a few hours later.

I glanced over to where Caitlin was standing, and Saint John got the message immediately. "C'mon," he said. "Let's go for a walk."

"Okay, Sinj," I said as we walked away from the hangar.

"You really like her, don't you, little brother?" Saint John asked me a few minutes later.

I hesitated for a minute, not sure how I'd answer him, then finally decided. "Yeah, I do, Sinj. I like Cait an awful lot. In fact, I think"—Saint John cut me off abruptly.

"You're finally admitting that you love her, aren't you? Congratulations, little brother!" Saint John smiled at me, and I had to admit, he hadn't lost his touch. _Even after bein' away from me for all these years, he can still read me like a book,_ I thought.

"Yeah. I am admitting that I love Cait. But, Sinj, you've gotta promise me not to say _one word_ about this to her, or Dom."

"You know I wouldn't do that, String."

"Dammit, Sinj, promise me!"

"Okay, String. If it'll make you feel better to hear me say it, I promise—my lips are sealed. But let me say this, little brother. It's about time you admit how you feel about her, dammit!"

"Yeah, I know, Sinj," I said. "I guess I finally realize that the curse doesn't really exist, especially now that you're home."

"I'm sure glad to hear that, String," Saint John said. "Y'know, if I didn't know how much Cait loved you, I probably would've asked her out myself by now."

"You really think she loves me, Sinj?"

"Oh, _come on,_ little brother! You can't tell me you've never noticed—wait a minute, never mind. Yes, you _could _tell me you've never noticed how she looks at you sometimes." My big brother grinned at me, to let me know there were no hard feelings.

"Thanks, Sinj," I said as we turned back to the hangar. "Thanks for listenin' to me."

"Any time, little brother."

Caitlin came out of the hangar and walked straight up to me. "You okay, String?"

"Feelin' a lot better now, Cait," I said honestly. "Sinj and I just had a little brother-to-brother talk."

"Well, String, just remember that I'm always here to talk to, if you need me."

"I-I'll remember that, Cait," I stammered, surprised at how much I appreciated her words to me. "Thanks."

"Any time, String." She smiled and winked at me as we got back to work.

Before Dom took me home that night, Cait walked over and hugged me. "You sure you're okay, String?" _I never noticed this, but she has the most beautiful eyes,_ I thought.

"Yeah, Cait. I'm fine. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Okay, String." I smiled at her as she slipped out of my arms and walked over to her car to go home. Dom and I climbed into the helicopter and headed back to my cabin.

That night, I thought about what had happened that day, and I smiled when I recalled Caitlin's expression just before Dom and I left. _She has a beautiful smile,_ I thought. _Heck, she's beautiful. Probably the most beautiful woman I've ever known, if I'm being totally honest with myself. _As I went to bed that night, I found Caitlin's smiling face at the forefront of my thoughts again. But that night, I had a dream of finding Caitlin the same way I found Gabrielle—unconscious and dying in my arms. _That can't happen,_ I thought. _And if we get too much closer, I'm scared to death that it will._ Finally, I allowed myself to fall asleep.

When Dom and I got to the hangar the next morning, Saint John and Caitlin were standing outside waiting for us. "Morning, Sinj," I said, ignoring Caitlin completely.

"Hey, String," Caitlin said, walking up to me. I smiled weakly at her, then went to work.

"What's going on, little brother?" Saint John demanded later.

"Whataya mean, Sinj?"

"You've been blowing Caitlin off all day. I thought yesterday that you said"—

"I know what I said, Sinj," I said, "but I can't risk losing Cait the same way I lost Gabrielle, or Kelly."

"Come _on,_ little brother! What happened to Kelly was an _accident,_ for God's sake! You know that! As for Gabrielle, didn't you tell me that this Moffet guy, the one who built that helicopter, was crazy?"

"Yeah, I did tell you that, Sinj, but"—

"Oh, but me no buts, String! The man was _crazy,_ you told me! And, you told me that he would stop at nothing to keep Airwolf! Heck, he tried to kill you and Dom, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he did."

"And, String, look at everything Cait's gone through since she came here lookin' for you. And every time, she's come out okay. Doesn't that tell you something?"

"You know I always hated it when you were right, don'cha, Sinj?"

"Yeah, I know. So what are you gonna do about it?"

"I don't know, big brother," I said, turning Saint John's 'little brother' comment back on him. "I honestly don't know, and I hate feelin' like that."

"I know, little brother, and all I can do is try to help. And if you don't mind my sayin' so, you need to figure out what you're gonna do, quick, or else I'm afraid Cait's gonna walk out of your life, permanently. Y'know?"

"Yeah, I do know," I said, surprised at how seriously the thought of Caitlin leaving frightened me. "And that's exactly what I'm afraid of." _And I mean that,_ I thought. _I-I just can't bear the thought of my life without Cait._ That night when I went home, I stayed up a lot later than I probably should have, trying to sort my emotions out. Finally, I figured out what I needed. _A little solo time in the Lady. That'll help,_ I thought as I closed my eyes and fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

_Confusion, Chap. 4_

The next morning when Dom came to get me, I wondered what he'd say to me going up in the Lady without him. I didn't have to wait long to find out, after I told him what I wanted to do.

"You're takin' our Lady up for a spin without me?" Dom demanded. "Why?"

"Dom, I-I just need some alone time to think about everything. I promise, next time I decide to go for a check ride, I'll bring you along. And Cait, if she's still around."

"Whataya mean, 'if she's still around?'"

"Well, you know she's talked about leavin', and I'm worried that my attitude yesterday might just be the straw that broke that camel's back, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do know, but I wouldn't worry about it," Dom said, smiling at me. "She's stuck around this long waitin' for you, even through all your mood swings and attitude changes. Doesn't that tell you something?"

"I guess so, Dom," I said, still unsure. By this time, we were approaching the hangar, and I was surprised that Cait wasn't standing outside waiting for us, the way she usually did. When Dom and I got out of the helicopter, I walked over to Saint John. "You seen Cait around here?"

"No. She wasn't here when I got here, so I went ahead and got things opened up. I wouldn't worry too much about it, little brother. She probably just overslept."

"I sure hope so," I said as I walked over to one of our jeeps. I climbed in and started up the engine, headed toward the Lair.

As I got near the Lair, I found my mind and emotions settling, especially after I'd changed into my flight suit and begun Airwolf's preflight sequence. As I pulled her out of the chimney and noticed the sunrise through the cockpit windows, I advanced the throttle and felt Airwolf picking up speed. After a few minutes, I hit the turbo button and felt the powerful turbines kick in. As I whipped the Lady around some of the stone outcroppings around the Lair, I had time to think about my feelings for Caitlin. _But what if she dies, like Kelly __and Gabrielle __did?_ I thought.

_String, Cait's not gonna die on you. I've been watchin' you two, and I see how much she loves you._ I was shocked when I heard Kelly's voice in my head. _Kel? Is-is that you_? I thought.

_Yeah, it's me, String. You asked what if Caitlin died, like I did, and I feel like I have to answer that question. There are no guarantees in life, String. You know that. All you can do is live every day, one day at a time. And, I'd hate for you to live the rest of your life alone. You deserve better than that, String-bean._

_Kel, you know I always hated it when you called me that, right?_ I thought, even as I remembered just how much I hated that nickname.

_Yeah, I know. That's why I always said it to get your attention._ I smiled as I recalled how Kelly had used that annoying nickname to get through to me when we were dating. _And I think you need to hear it again, now. C'mon, String. You know I'm right, don'cha?_

_Yeah,_ I thought resignedly. _You, Dom, and Sinj. You've all been tryin' to get me to understand how Caitlin feels about me, and to admit how I feel about her. But you know how stubborn I can be, Kel. You know that probably better than anybody, except Dom. That's why I've fought my feelings for Cait for so long. And not only that, but I just don't want it to seem like I'm forgetting what we had, y'know?_

_I know, String. But you need to stop fighting your feelings for Caitlin. And, don't worry. You wouldn't be dishonoring my memory if you got together with Caitlin, or anything like that. I told you before the accident that if anything ever happened to me, I wanted you to find love again, remember?_

_Yeah, I do remember,_ I thought, recalling the conversation we'd had at her house, a few days before the terrible accident. _And I promise, I'll do better._ I was surprised that Kelly's voice had reminded me of her words to me before she died. _And I remember I told her that if I didn't make it back from Vietnam, she should go on without me,_ I thought. _How little did I know that I'd be the one going on without her. Except I haven't done a very good job of going on,_ I thought, then stopped myself when I heard Kelly's voice again.

_String, I wasn't the woman you were supposed to be with. Neither was Gabrielle. But we both want you to be happy. And I think you'll be able to be happy, once you finally acknowledge your feelings about Cait. That would help us both to rest in peace. Can you do that for Gabrielle, and more importantly, for me? Please?_

_All right, Kel,_ I thought, turning the Lady back toward the chimney, feeling happier than I'd felt in a few days. _I-I'll do it. If Cait's still around when I go back to the hangar, I'll tell her exactly how I feel. That I love her, and that I've loved her for a very long time. Maybe even since I first saw her outside of Bogan's jail cell._

_That's good to hear, String,_ Kelly's voice rang in my ears. _And Gabrielle says to tell you she wanted you to be happy, too. And she knows Cait can make you happy, just like I did. _I shook my head and smiled under my flight helmet at the thought of Kelly and Gabrielle's spirits communicating about my happiness.

_Thanks, Kel. For everything,_ I thought as I brought Airwolf back down into the Lair.

_You're welcome, String. Just remember—Caitlin loves you, even more than either Gabrielle or I did. And having a love like that, you'll make it through anything._ I felt my heart lighten as I heard Kelly's words in my head as I changed clothes and got ready to head back to the hangar.

I drove back to Santini Air excited to tell Caitlin that I'd figured out my feelings, and to tell her how much I loved her. But as I pulled up in front of the hangar, I noticed both Dom and Saint John standing outside, looking extremely upset. I parked the jeep and hopped out quickly, running up to Dom. "Dom? What's wrong? Did you hear something about Cait?"

"Yeah, String." I could tell Dom's eyes were red from crying, and I immediately felt myself panicking inside. "The-the police called a few minutes after you left, and-and Cait was in an accident this morning on the way in here. They said they took her to Foxbridge Clinic, but that it wasn't looking good."

"No!" I shouted, angry. "Dom, I-I can't lose her! I decided while I was gone that I was going to tell her how I feel about her, and now you tell me I might not have the chance? Dammit, I knew something like this might happen!"

"C'mon, little brother," Saint John said, leading me back over to the jeep and taking the keys out of my hand, "let's get to the hospital. Cait's gonna be okay, String. You've just got to believe that. Don't stop believin' that, okay?"

"Okay, Sinj. What the hell happened, anyway?"

"Dom said the guy that hit Cait's car dropped his cigarette and took his eyes off the road trying to find it," Saint John told me. "He barreled through the stop sign and hit Cait's car broadside." I shuddered as I recalled what happened the night Kelly died. _Deja vu all over again,_ I thought.

"What happened to the other guy?" I demanded.

"Dom said he was dead at the scene. And the nurse at the hospital told Dom that Caitlin was in surgery. Something about internal bleeding or something of that nature."

"Oh, God," I said as we pulled into the parking lot at Foxbridge. We charged through the front door, and neither one of us was surprised when Marella came up to us.

"Whoa, whoa, easy there, String!" Marella shouted.

"Dammit, Marella, where's Cait?" I demanded, a little harsher than I probably should have.

"She's in a private room, String, and she's stable, but unconscious. The doctors and I did everything we could—it's all up to her, now. She was bleeding internally when she came in, from a ruptured spleen. Dr. Jackson and I were able to get the bleeding stopped, and repair the rupture that caused it."

"Is she going to be all right?"

"I-I wish I could tell you for sure, String. She should have woken up by now, to be honest. Come on." I let Marella lead me down the hall until we stopped in front of Caitlin's room. "Thanks, Marella," I said, forcing a smile as I walked into the room, stifling a shudder at the sight of Caitlin lying there in the bed, unconscious. I grabbed a chair and set it up next to the bed, taking Caitlin's limp hand in mine.

"Cait," I said, knowing that sometimes, talking to an unconscious person helped them, "Cait, I'm here. I'm right here, baby, and I'll never leave you. I-I promise you that, Cait. I'll be here for you always, as long as you come back to us—come back to me, that is.

"I-I did a lot of thinkin' today, Cait. Even took the Lady up for a little spin just to clear my head, and I came to a few realizations. Number one, I don't ever want to live without you, Cait. You've become an important part of my life, and I-I just can't bear to think of my life without you. I know I've been a giant pain in your ass the last few days, with my mood swinging between acting like I care about you like I did the day you told us about John dumping you, and my normal self. But, Cait, I promise you—I've figured out my feelings, and I-I just want you to wake up so I can tell you about them." Suddenly, my words this morning, _'if she's still around,' _rang in my head. _You have to be okay, Cait,_ I thought anxiously. _I meant 'if she's still around' in the sense that I'm worried __Cait might __go back to Texas, not in the sense that __she__'d die on me!_ I couldn't help but think of the vision I had a couple of nights ago, when Cait died in my arms just like Gabrielle had. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't hear the door open until Saint John said something.

"Anything, String?" Saint John asked from the door.

"No. But I haven't been talkin' that long, so I guess I shouldn't get my hopes up just yet."

"String, you've been sitting here for three _hours_," Saint John said. I looked at my wristwatch and realized Saint John was right. I guessed I'd been sitting there silently holding Cait's hand for a while before I started talking to her.

"C'mon, String. Let's get you down to the cafeteria and get something in your stomach. It wouldn't be good if Cait woke up and you were on an empty stomach, y'know."

Almost as if Sinj had cued it, my stomach growled, reminding me how hungry I was. Reluctantly, I let go of Caitlin's hand and allowed Saint John to pull me out of my chair. "Yeah, Sinj. You're right," I said as we walked out of Caitlin's room and headed downstairs to the cafeteria. _Sinj knows how I get on an empty stomach,_ I thought, _and I don't want Cait to have to deal with me that way. Although now that I think about it, she's dealt with a lot worse from me, and hasn't left yet. _

"String, I hope this little accident hasn't changed your mind," Saint John said after we'd gotten our lunches. "I mean, I know how you get sometimes, and I'm worried about you."

"Well, I'm worried too, Sinj. I'm worried that I've been right all along, and that I am cursed somehow. I mean, just when I decided that I was going to tell Cait how I feel about her, she gets in a car wreck, and she's unconscious. And we don't know if she's gonna make it." _Caitlin didn't have to come lookin' for me, after we helped her out with Bogan. She just showed up one day, standin' in front of the old Stearman. I wonder—could something have sent her back to California? Back to me? Something other than Airwolf, that is,_ I thought as I remembered how Cait had asked where I kept that 'black battleship with the rotors.' Then, Saint John's voice brought me out of my thoughts again.

"String, don't think like that," Saint John said, smiling reassuringly at me as we finished eating. "You've gotta think positive, little brother. You know that. And if you're looking for evidence that you're not really cursed, just take a good, long look at me. I know my bein' gone so long was a big reason you thought you were cursed, but I'm back now. And there's a girl upstairs in that room who loves you a whole lot, in case you haven't figured that out."

"Yeah, I have figured that out, and I understand what you're saying; but it's not easy, Sinj. But I promise, I'll try," I said as we headed back up to Caitlin's room. I walked back inside and took my place in the chair next to her bed, grabbing her hand once again as Saint John left the room, letting the door close behind him.

"Cait, there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a few days now, but I never felt right about sayin' it, first because I knew you were dating John, but most important because of everything that's happened in my past—you know, with Kelly, and Gabrielle. They knew how I felt about them, and I still lost them. But now, I'm afraid that I could lose you even though you don't know how I feel about you, and I don't want to leave this unsaid anymore. I-I really wish you could hear me, Cait, 'cause I'd love to see the look on that beautiful face of yours when I tell you the truth."

_Well,_ I thought, taking a deep breath, _here goes. _"The truth is, Caitlin, I love you. More than I've loved anybody for a very long time, and"—the sudden beeping of the monitors above Caitlin's bed startled me, and Marella and another doctor rushed into the room a moment later, Saint John right at their heels.

"String, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to leave," Marella said.

"No, Marella. I-I can't leave her"—Marella turned and glared at me.

"Out! Now!" she shouted, and Saint John led me outside. I thought of the promise I'd made to Saint John as we came back from the cafeteria, and suddenly felt myself praying—something I haven't done in a _very _long time. _God, please don't take Cait from me __like you took Kelly and Gabrielle__!_ I couldn't help but remember Kelly's voice telling me Caitlin wasn't going to die on me. _I sure hope you were right, Kel,_ I thought worriedly as I recalled Marella's expression. _But Marella looked worried. And if she's worried, I'm worried,_ I thought, knowing Marella was now a medical doctor. I shook my head as I remembered her listing her five doctorates that day she visited Dom and I in the hospital after we were injured on that flying stunt.

"_But you're not a 'doctor,' doctor," Dom said._

"_You mean a medical doctor?" Marella asked._

"_Yeah."_

_"No. I still have a year of school left."_

"She's gotta be okay, Sinj," I said as the door closed behind us. "She-she just has to be. I can't live without her."

"I know, little brother," Saint John replied as he glanced at the closed door. "I know." I worriedly followed Saint John's glance to Caitlin's door, wondering what the hell was going on in there. _You have to be okay, Cait,_ I thought. _You-you just have to be. I-I won't be able to go on without you. _

Then, something Dom had told me Cait had said in Michael's limo, when she was trying to convince Dom to bring her with him to rescue me from Horn, went through my mind. _'Dom, don't do that to me. I care about him, too, y'know. Probably more than you know.' What the heck did she mean by that, I wonder?_ I found myself anxiously hoping I'd get the chance to ask her what she meant.

"String," Saint John said, snapping me out of my thoughts, "I hope you don't mind me sayin' this, but you're a lot easier to deal with when Cait's around. Even Dom said so."

"Yeah, I know," I said. "Michael and Dom have both told me that, too. And even though I fought it for so long, I've finally realized that Cait is good for me. I-I just hope it's not too late," I added. Then, I looked my big brother straight in the face and said something I know he never would have expected to hear from me. "I-I'm scared, Sinj. I'm scared Cait's gonna die and never know how I feel about her." As much as I had gotten used to being alone since our parents died, except for a few minor flings, now that Saint John was home, I found myself wanting something more permanent in my life, and wanting to share my life with Caitlin. _I just hope like hell I get the chance,_ I thought.

"I know, little brother. I know," Saint John said, gently laying his hand on my shoulder.

I wasn't sure how long Saint John and I stood outside Caitlin's room, but when Marella opened the door, I couldn't help myself. "Dammit, Marella. How is she?" I winced at how rude my voice sounded, and resolved to apologize to Marella later, no matter what happened with Caitlin. _That wasn't fair,_ I thought.

"See for yourself, String," Marella said. She smiled as she moved aside and allowed Saint John and me to go back into the room. I took a deep breath and glanced worriedly at Saint John. "Come on, String," he said. "Whatever's in there won't change no matter how long we stand here, so let's go." I nodded and walked hesitantly back into the room, and I noticed something immediately—Caitlin was sitting upright, without the breathing tubes I'd seen when I came into the room the first time. And, she was awake. _Thank you, God,_ I thought, even as I heard Caitlin's voice. "Hey, String," she said weakly, smiling at me. _Music to my ears,_ I thought, excited.

"Cait! You-you're okay?" I asked, not sure I wanted to believe what I was seeing.

"Stringfellow, I think Caitlin's going to be fine," the other doctor said. I noticed his name tag said "Dr. Jackson," and I listened to him as he continued.

"Something caused Caitlin's heart rate to jump a moment ago, and she woke up. But the sudden jump in her heart rate is what set off the alarms and caused Marella and me to come running in here. Caitlin actually said your name when she first opened her eyes. I think she was disappointed that we kicked you out of here. But I have to say, I have the strangest feeling that someone was looking out for you, Caitlin." I found myself recalling what I'd said just before the alarms went off. _'__The truth is, Caitlin, I love you. More than I've loved anybody for a very long time, and-'_ _Could she have heard me tell her that I love her?_ I wondered, pulling myself out of my thoughts when I heard Caitlin's voice again.

"You're darned right, Doc! I was real disappointed that I didn't see String when I woke up!" Caitlin said, forcing a smile in spite of the situation. I wondered again if Cait had heard any of the things I was saying while she was unconscious, and what she thought if she had heard any of them. _Could she have heard me say that I love her, and could that have caused her heart rate to jump, and woken her up?_

"Did you _really _say my name when you woke up, Cait?" I asked.

"Yep. I opened my eyes, looked around, and said, "Where's String?" And that's when Marella went and opened the door. Guess she kicked you outta here for some reason, huh?"

"Yeah, she did. Well, I'm here now, Cait," I said, smiling as I sat down beside her bed again. "And we've got a few things to talk about." I looked deep into her eyes and noticed the worry and confusion there. _Relax, Cait, _I thought. _Hopefully, what I have to say to you will make you happy. If not, I suppose I'll just have to deal with it,_ I thought.

"Go ahead, String," Caitlin said worriedly as Dr. Jackson and Marella walked out of the room.

"Well, first of all, I want to apologize for the way I've been acting toward you lately. I mean, one minute I'm acting like I really care about you, and the next minute I'm acting like, well, me. Standoffish and all that. Like the other day when I all but ignored you when I got to the hangar."

"Yeah," Caitlin said. "And it's the standoffish part that's bugging me. I mean, I suppose I should be used to it by now, but when you ignore me like you did the other day, String, it hurts. It's a giant pain in my ass, if I'm bein' perfectly honest with myself. In fact, I'm seriously thinkin' I might just go back to Texas when they let me outta here. I mean, don't take this the wrong way, 'cause I love working at the hangar, and with you and Dom, but I think this little accident has shown me that I need to move on with my life, y'know? Especially after what happened with John."

When I heard Caitlin say _'I need to move on with my life, __especially after what happened with John,__' _I knew she was talkin' about her love life. _Or lack thereof,_ I thought, remembering how she'd reacted when John had broken off their relationship. _Not to mention how I felt, _I thought, even as I felt my heart racing just like it did when Cait told me how John had dumped her. And I remembered how I'd been worried that my attitude recently would be the catalyst that drove her away from California, and out of my life, forever. _And I can't let that happen,_ I thought as I carefully chose my next words. "Cait, please don't leave," I said, suddenly worried. _Don't leave me,_ I thought. _I already thought I was gonna lose you __twi__ce __before__, and I couldn't take that again. _Then, her comment, 'it's a giant pain in my ass, if I'm bein' perfectly honest with myself', rang in my head. _She couldn't have heard me say that, could she?_ I wondered, thinking of how I'd told her that I knew I was being a giant pain in the ass—in _her _ass, at least figuratively speaking—with my attitude recently.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't, Hawke. 'Cause right now, I don't have one," Caitlin shot back, and I saw the determination in her eyes.

_Well, here goes everything,_ I thought as I moved closer to Caitlin, intending to kiss her. "Okay then, how's this for a reason?" I asked, but stopped when I heard the door open and saw Dom barging into the room out of the corner of my eye.

"Everything okay in here?" Dom demanded. _Lousy timing as usual, Dom,_ I thought. _As if I'm not nervous enough, n__ow I've gotta build my courage all over again to tell Cait how I feel about her. Thanks a whole heap. _I noticed Saint John was with Dom, too. _Geez, Sinj, couldn't you stop him?_ I thought.

"Yeah, Dom, I'm fine." I picked up the irritation in Cait's voice almost immediately. "String was just about to tell me something important before you came barging in here like a bull on Daddy's ranch back in Texas, and so rudely interrupted him." _We'll apologize later, Dom. I promise,_ I thought.

"Sorry, Cait," Dom said meekly.

"It's okay, Dom. And I'm sorry for bein' rude just now. Just don't do it again!"

"Okay, Cait."

"Sorry about that, Dom," I said.

"I know, String." I thought I saw something in Dom's eyes, like he was wondering what I was gonna do. _Have patience, Dom,_ I thought, even though I knew that was all but impossible for him. _That's why he never would have made it as a doctor. 'Cause he's got no patience._

"Come on, Dom," Saint John said. "I dunno why, but I have a very strange feeling that these two need a little more privacy."

"Thanks, Sinj," I said, winking at my older brother. "I owe you one." _And I'm sure you won't let me forget it, either,_ I thought.

"You got that right, String." Saint John smiled at me and mouthed the words, 'Good luck, little brother,' just before the door closed behind him. _Thanks, Sinj,_ I thought, _'cause I'm sure gonna need it. __I wish you could've stopped Dom before he came in here, though._ I watched Saint John leave and began trying to build my courage back up.

"So," Caitlin said as the door closed behind Saint John, "before you were so rudely interrupted, what were you going to tell me? Actually, let me tell you somethin' first, String. There's a reason I'm thinkin' about leaving, after what happened the other day with John, and then the accident this morning. I-I feel like there's got to be someone out there who can love me for me, not just look at me like a sex object like John did; or as just a way to get to you because of the Lady, like Villers and Sawyer both did. But I can't sit around the hangar waiting to find him. So, even though it's gonna be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, I feel like I've got to leave if I'm ever gonna go on with my life, and really be happy." I thought I saw tears in Caitlin's eyes, which actually made them look that much more beautiful, until I realized that if there were tears in her eyes, they were there because of the way I'd been treating her lately.

_Oh, Cait,_ I thought, _I'm so sorry that I've made you so upset, but __if that's really how you feel, then what I've got to tell you will make you very happy, because I do love you, for you. I always have. I guess I just needed somethin' like this to help me find my balls and tell you how I feel. __And I promise you, I'll spend the rest of my life—of our lives—showing you how much I love you, __and making you happier than you ever thought possible,__ if you'll __give me the chance. __Because I'm finally willing to admit that you make my life complete, and worth living, Caitlin. __And I'm ready to admit that I love you, Cait. More than I've loved anybody in my entire life._

I took a deep breath as I glanced up into Caitlin's beautiful hazel eyes, hoping that what I saw there was love, before I continued. _Well, here goes. Like Gunny Romie used to say, __'Come on, __Chicken Hawke! __Sound off like you've got a pair!_' Finally, I knew what I wanted to say, and more importantly, how I wanted to say it to the woman I loved.


	5. Chapter 5

_Confusion, Chapter 5_

"Cait," I began again, surprised at the nerves that were building inside of me, "before Dom and Sinj told me about your accident, I-I left the hangar and went for a ride in the Lady. You know I like to do that sometimes when I need to think about things." I waited until I saw Caitlin nod before I continued.

"Well, while I was flying out there, I swear I heard Kelly—the girl I told you about who was killed right before I went to Vietnam—talkin' to me. And she-she was talking about you."

I couldn't read the expression in Caitlin's eyes, and quite frankly, that worried me. "Oh, really?" Caitlin demanded, and I immediately knew she was upset. "And what did _Kelly _say?"

"Just that I should stop being afraid of my feelings, Cait. She got me to understand that she wasn't the one I'm supposed to be with, and that Gabrielle wasn't that woman, either. _You _are that woman, Caitlin O'Shannessy."

"Really? She said that?" I could tell Caitlin didn't believe a word I'd just said, and quite frankly, I couldn't blame her. All the same, I was relieved that Cait's voice didn't sound nearly as hostile as it had a moment ago.

"Yeah, Cait, she did. It was sort of like how you tell me that you hear my voice in your head sometimes, or how I've told you about hearing your voice in mine. I know it sounds crazy, Cait, but it happened just that way."

"Well, first of all, I don't believe a word of what you just said, String," Caitlin said, and I felt myself getting worried. "But more important, it still doesn't explain what you were going to tell me before Dom came barging in here, or what you mean when you say that I'm the woman you're supposed to be with!"

"I know, Cait. I know." _Well, here goes nothing,_ I thought, _and everything all at the same time._

"Cait, I realized something out there today. Something I've been denying for way too long. You asked me to give you a good reason why you shouldn't leave before Dom came in here, so here's the best, and the only reason I can possibly give you; and it's simple—Caitlin, I'm in love with you. I have been for a long time, maybe ever since you came back to California lookin' for me. I-I just hope that I haven't completely screwed up any chance I might have had with you, especially with my attitude the past few days." I sighed as I reached over and took Caitlin's hand again, and she surprised me by pulling me closer to her until my face was a few inches from hers, and I saw the tears there in her eyes. "You okay, Cait?" I asked, suddenly even more worried.

"String, these tears are because I'm happy! I'm telling you right now, you haven't 'screwed up' your chance with me," she said through the tears in her eyes. "I-I have been hoping, and praying, for the longest time that you'd see reason sooner or later, and understand how I feel about you! I love you too, Stringfellow Hawke. And I'm in love with you. More than I've ever loved anybody in my life, including John." She smiled at me, then pulled me even closer for a short, passionate kiss.

As Caitlin kissed me, I swore I felt something changing in the room, like something was telling me that everything was going to be okay. I felt Caitlin's kiss become more passionate, so I quickly separated us, much to her disappointment.

"Sorry about that, Cait, but it wouldn't look real good if Dom or Marella walked in here and caught us fooling around like a couple of lovestruck teenagers," I said, and Caitlin smiled and nodded at me. _Although, if Dom did see us carrying on like that, he'd probably be extraordinarily happy, now that I think about it,_ I thought.

"Well, we'll just have to make up for it when I get out of here," Caitlin said, and I saw the glint of excitement in her eyes, "because I have been _dreaming _of kissing you like that, and of you kissing me like that, without having some director tell you to!"

"Definitely." I smiled and squeezed her hand. _And there'll be a lot more kisses like that, if I've got anything to say about it,_ I thought.

Just then, the door opened and Marella and Dr. Jackson walked into the room. "Caitlin," Dr. Jackson said, "I've got some good news. Your tests all came back negative, so unless something goes wrong during the night, you'll be free to go tomorrow."

"Thanks, Doctor, and you too, Marella," Caitlin said, smiling.

"Is there something you want to tell us, Stringfellow?" Marella demanded, having noticed that Cait and I were holding hands.

"Just that I've finally admitted how I feel about Caitlin," I said, smiling at Marella and Dr. Jackson.

"Well, that's a relief," Dr. Jackson said. "Even though it means my wife wins the pool."

"Pool?" I demanded. "You were betting on us?"

"On you, actually, Mr. Hawke," Dr. Jackson replied. "The staff and our spouses, along with Michael, Marella, and Dominic, have struck up a pool as to when you'd finally pull your head out of your rear end about Caitlin, and my wife had today as the day. We've all seen how you and Caitlin act when one of you is in here—that's why we put orders on your charts not to separate either of you from the other. Well," he sighed, "I guess I'll have to admit to Cathy that she knows everything. And, she'll never let me hear the end of it," Dr. Jackson said, shaking his head.

"What day did you have, Marella?" I asked, out of curiosity.

"Next Friday. Oh, well, Michael had tomorrow, so he's going to be _very _disappointed. But, I think he'll also be happy for both of you. Michael and I have both been wondering when you'd get your head out of your behind about Caitlin, just like everybody else has. And, by the way, String, I wanted to apologize for being so rude earlier. I-I was just worried about Caitlin, and afraid you'd get in the way."

"Well," I said as the door opened and Dom and Saint John walked in, "I guess your wait is over. And, apology accepted. I understand why you did that, and it's okay, Marella. And I apologize for being so rude earlier, too."

"Apology accepted. Actually, I'm kinda used to it from you, String," Marella said.

"Their wait is over for what, String?" Dom demanded until he saw us holding hands. "String? Did you finally"—I had to smile at how tongue-tied Dom had suddenly become.

"Yeah, Dom. I finally found my balls and told Cait exactly how I feel about her. And," I said, smiling at her, "she told me she feels the same way about me."

"Well, tell me something I didn't already know, String!" Dom said, flashing his familiar gap-toothed grin at us. "I was hoping you'd come to your senses, kid!" I got the feeling that Dom had been hoping for this to happen for a very long time, and that only confirmed my earlier thought-that if he _had _

"Yeah, I know," I said. "I guess it just took something like this to give me a kick in the rear end about it. By the way, Dom," I said, grinning, "what day did _you _have?"

"Whataya mean, 'what day did'—Oh. Dr. Jackson must've told you about the pool."

"Yeah. He said his wife won. So, what day did you have, Dom?" I demanded.

"Day after tomorrow," Dom replied. "This is one pool I don't mind losin', though!"

"That's good to know," I said. Marella turned and ushered Saint John, Dom, and Dr. Jackson out, leaving Caitlin and me alone together once again.

"I think that's why I couldn't do it," Caitlin said out of the blue.

"Couldn't do what?"

"Why I couldn't sleep with John. It-it just wouldn't have been right to sleep with him, not knowin' how you felt about me, String. Y'know?"

"Yeah, I guess so. But you slept with Sawyer, even though you didn't know how I felt." _Even though I think he forced you into it,_ I thought.

"That was completely different. I didn't love or want Ken, String, even though it seemed like I did in the beginning, and he knew that. Heck, I don't think he really loved me, or wanted me, either; even though I was gullible and stupid enough to believe him when he told me he did. But I think I only bought the line of malarkey he was sayin' because I wasn't hearing it from _you, _String, the way I wanted to." I nodded my understanding as Cait continued, "Sawyer only did what he did to get me to keep my mouth shut about what he was plannin' to do. And if I hadn't given him what he wanted, then he probably would've—just taken it." I knew by the expression on Caitlin's face how much that thought frightened her. _I knew it,_ I thought, even as I regretted bringing Sawyer's name up.

"I'm sorry, Cait. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's okay, String. And anyway, what happened with Ken is over and done with, and thanks to you, he's rotting in hell along with Villers, Bogan, and the rest of his cronies."

"Sinj told me something very funny the other day. He said that if he didn't know how much you loved me, he would have asked you out himself." I could tell Caitlin was surprised at what I'd just said by the look on her face.

"He said that? Don't get me wrong, your brother's a great guy, not to mention he's good-looking, but," Caitlin hesitated before she looked into my eyes and said, "but, he's not _you, _String. And wouldn't that be kinda weird, me dating your brother when I'm in love with you?"

"Yeah, that would be weird, Cait, but we don't have to worry about that anymore."

"I'm sure glad to hear that, String. But we wouldn't have had to worry about it anyway, 'cause if Sinj had asked me out, I would've told him how I felt about you, and that I wasn't interested, like I did when that guy asked me out on the plane when we were hijacked." I smiled as I recalled Cait turning the guy down when he came to the hangar to pick her up, and suddenly, I felt the need to tell Caitlin something that had been bugging me for a few days.

"Cait, I need to apologize for something else."

"What?" Now, I noticed Caitlin getting worried.

"I need to apologize for being so blunt that day back at the hangar—the day you told Dom and me about what happened with John. You were right, it wasn't my business, and I should have just kept my mouth shut. Anyway, again, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, String. I guess now I know why you said you hoped I didn't give up on men, huh?"

"Yeah. When you said you were thinkin' about giving up on men after John dumped you, I thought I wouldn't have a chance with you. Anyway, I'm sorry, again."

"And it's okay, again, String. I was kinda wonderin' why you were so worried I'd give up on men. I was wishin' you'd just be honest with me about your feelings."

"Well," I said, "I guess I finally decided to be honest; both with myself, and with you." When I glanced at Caitlin again, I noticed a decidedly mischievous glint in her eyes. "Cait," I said worriedly, "you're not thinking what I think you are, are you?"

"I guess we'll find out when I get outta here," Caitlin said, smiling at me. "'cause for some strange reason, I'm suddenly feelin' incredibly horny."

"Oh-kay. That was 'need-to-know,' Cait; and I didn't. At least," I said, grinning at her, "not now. Maybe tomorrow."

"If I'm still feelin' this way by then," Caitlin replied, downcast.

"Well, if it helps any, Cait, I'm feelin' the exact same way," I said, realizing my pants had suddenly become a lot tighter, and knowing the reason why.

"It does help, a little," she said, smiling at me. There was something I needed to ask Cait, and I wasn't sure how she'd take it.

"Cait, when you told Dom 'I care about him, too, y'know. Probably more than you know', what the heck did you mean by that?"

"I meant that I loved—I mean, that I love you, String. I-I just couldn't say it that day to Dom."

"I think I understand, Cait. Well, things are all out in the open now."

"Yeah. Finally," Caitlin said, smiling at me. _When I see her smile like that, I know all's right in my world,_ I thought before I kissed her again. When we separated, Caitlin said, "By the way, String—you gave me the best reason not to leave I could have ever asked for. So I'm not goin' anywhere."

"I'm certainly glad to hear that." I don't know why, but as I sat there holding Caitlin's hand in that hospital room, I just knew my life—_our lives—_would never be the same. _They'll only be better,_ I thought as Dom and I left the hospital and headed back to the hangar.

When Dom took me back to the cabin that night, I suddenly felt myself wishing Cait was there with me. _Maybe I'll bring her up here tomorrow after she gets out,_ I thought, figuring Dom would give us a couple of days off. _And, we'll see what happens from there. _As I fell asleep, I heard Kelly's voice in my head again. _Hate to say 'I told ya so,' String, but..._

_Yeah, yeah,_ I thought, even as I pictured Kelly smirking at me the way she always did when she'd won an argument, _you did tell me so. Anyway, thanks. For everything._

_Don't mention it, String. It was my pleasure. And you take good care of Cait, you hear me? I know she'll take good care of you, so I'm not worried about that._

_She always has,_ I thought. _Even when I didn't deserve it._

_I know, _Kelly thought into my mind. _And I'm happy you finally decided to accept that Caitlin loves you, and allow yourself to love her back. Well, good-bye, String. Now, Gabrielle and I can both rest in peace._

_'Bye, Kel,_ I thought, sighing as I felt my late girlfriend's presence slipping from my mind. I don't know how, but I just knew that would be the last time I'd think about her, or about Gabrielle, but when I saw Caitlin's smiling face in my mind again, I felt my sadness evaporate as I thought about the future. _The future, with Caitlin,_ I thought as I fell asleep.

The next morning, Dom and I were at the hospital as soon as we could get there, and I wasn't surprised at all when we got to Cait's room and found her dressed and ready to leave. "'Mornin', String!" she said, her eyes shining.

"Good morning yourself, gorgeous," I said, smiling at her. _Even with those bruises, she's still the most beautiful woman I've ever known,_ I thought, not surprised to see her blush a little bit.

"Thanks, String," she replied, "but I sure don't feel gorgeous at the moment."

"Trust me," I said, stepping close to her, "you are." Then, ignoring Dom's stare, I kissed Caitlin with everything I had.

"Wow," Caitlin said a few seconds later, after I'd released her. "If I'd known getting in a car wreck would get that kind of a reaction from you, I would've done it long ago! Now, let's _blow this joint,_ guys!" Caitlin grinned as she sat down in the wheelchair an orderly had brought.

"I know it's the rules and all, but I really don't need this," Caitlin said as we wheeled her to the elevator. "I'm perfectly fine. Marella and Dr. Jackson said so."

"Well, like you said, Cait, rules are rules," I said, "and if we don't follow 'em, you might not get out of here, which I wouldn't appreciate at all."

"And why is that, String?" Caitlin asked, suddenly interested. We stepped into the elevator and rode down to the lobby, and I took the opportunity to look at Caitlin.

"Because tonight, I'm taking you out for dinner, dancing, and whatever else you'd like to do," I said, smiling at her.

"And, don't be in any big hurry to come back, either," Dom said. "Sinj, Toni and I can handle things for at least a week, so I don't wanna see either one of you back here until then. Got it?"

"Got it," I said as the elevator doors opened and we met Marella and Dr. Jackson at the front door.

"Thanks for takin' such good care of her, Marella, Dr. Jackson," I said, smiling at them.

"That's what we're here for, Hawke," Dr. Jackson said. "Just don't be in any big hurry to come back, any of you."

"We'll do our best," I said as Caitlin stood up out of the wheelchair and wrapped her arm around my waist. I wrapped mine around hers, and together we walked out of the hospital into the warm morning sunshine.

Even though Dom had told us he didn't want us coming back for at least a week, I didn't feel right up and leaving Dom in the lurch, so Cait and I stuck around for a good portion of the day, until she decided to go home around 4:00. When I asked why, she smiled and said, "You'll see, String." Then she climbed into one of our jeeps and drove home.

_Wonder what that's about?_ I thought. I decided not to worry about it, though, as I helped Saint John straighten out a camera mount Dom was going to need for a shoot they had scheduled while we were on our unplanned vacation. About 5:15, I was relieved when Caitlin's jeep came back and she stepped out, not in the t-shirt and jeans she'd been wearing when she left the hospital, but in a very attractive blouse and skirt, along with a pair of heels that accentuated her long, shapely legs. "Wow," I said as Caitlin walked over to me, "you look amazing, Caitlin." _I don't think I ever noticed how sexy her legs really are,_ I thought.

"Thanks, String," she said, beaming. I noticed she had a suitcase with her, and I couldn't help asking, "You going somewhere?"

"Yeah," she said, sliding closer to me. "Back to the cabin with you, I hope. I know, I know, I said I wasn't goin' anywhere in the hospital room, but what I meant was I'm not goin' anywhere that _you _aren't, String. And," she said, smiling suggestively at me, "I'm planning on stayin' with you for the week."

"Cait, are you sure?"

"Absolutely," she said, her eyes gleaming. I smiled and led her over to the helicopter we'd be using when we got back from our date, and stowed her suitcase in the storage compartment. As we walked back to the jeep, Dom said, "I'll see you guys later!"

"Sure thing, Dom," I said.

"String," Saint John said, "you two have a good time this week."

"We will," Caitlin said before I could reply.

"'Bye, Sinj," I said as we climbed into the jeep.

"String, this is going to be a night neither one of us will ever forget," Caitlin said. I glanced over at her in the passenger seat, and saw her smile at me.

"I sure hope so," I said, smiling back as we pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. I quickly shut off the jeep and walked around to the passenger side, opening Caitlin's door just like Dom and my dad taught me to do. "Dom and my dad always taught Sinj and me that a real gentleman opens doors for his lady," I said, smiling when Caitlin blushed at my words 'for his lady.' We walked into the restaurant and were quickly seated, becoming so wrapped up in each other that the waiter had to clear his throat twice to get our attention and take our dinner orders.

"String, I have to tell you something," Caitlin said. I suddenly felt myself get worried.

"What is it, Cait?"

"Nothing much. Just that I'm happier right here, right now, with you, than I have been in my entire life." I felt my mind and emotions relax at her words.

"Thanks, Cait. And I'm happier right now than I have been in a very long time. I should have admitted my feelings about you a long time ago."

"I understand, String. And it's okay. I understand why you ignored your feelings for so long, and I forgive you. As far as I'm concerned, we're starting over right here, right now."

"I'm glad." I smiled and squeezed Caitlin's hand as I saw the waiter coming with our dinners out of the corner of my eye.

As we ate, I mentally kicked myself again for all the time I'd spent pushing Caitlin away because of the curse I thought I had on myself. _But that's all over now,_ I thought as we finished dinner and moved onto the dance floor. As Caitlin slipped her arms around my neck and moved into my arms, I remembered what I thought the day Caitlin told us that John had broken up with her.

"You noticed, String?"

"Noticed what, baby?"

"How well we fit together," Caitlin replied, smiling up at me. "It's-it's like we're made for each other."

"Funny you should say that. I thought the same thing that day back at the hangar. And, I wouldn't change a thing," I said, smiling at her.

"Me neither," Caitlin replied, "unless I could've made it happen sooner."

"I agree, but there's no point in dwelling on the past, Cait. All we can do is move forward, together."

"M mm, yeah. Together. The way I always wanted us to be."

"And the way we will be, forever, if I've got anything to say about it."

"M mm, I love the sound of that. And, I love you, String. Oh, and by the way, there's a reason I said I wanted to stay up at the cabin for the week. Remember what I said in the hospital yesterday?"

"That you were—oh, yeah, I remember. So I guess"—Caitlin suddenly cut me off with a deep, hungry, and passionate kiss. When we separated, once she caught her breath, Caitlin whispered, "Yeah, I am. Even more now than yesterday in the hospital room." I quickly paid the bill and we headed back to the hangar.

It didn't take long before Cait and I got back to the hangar and took the helicopter up to the cabin. We were in each other's arms almost from the minute we stepped through the front door, and I got the feeling Caitlin didn't want to wait any longer, so I quickly scooped her up in my arms and headed for the sleeping loft, surprised at the anticipation I saw there in her eyes.

"String," Caitlin breathed when I'd set her back on her feet, "make love to me. Now. Right now."


	6. Chapter 6

_Confusion, Chap. 6_

**A/N: **This chapter will close out this little arc. Thanks to **Mychand, Rainbow_Severus, av981638, and AbbyGibbs **for their reviews and comments. Enjoy the final chapter!-Robert

The intensity and anticipation in Cait's eyes only made my excitement grow, but there was one thing I had to set right in my mind. "Cait, if this isn't what you really want, then you tell me, right now!" I was thinking about what Cait had told me about what Bogan's boys tried to do to her before we'd met, and of course I knew about her sleeping with Sawyer before he kidnapped her.

"Hawke, I thought we agreed we weren't going to dwell on the past," Caitlin said as her fingers worked at the buttons on my shirt. I winced at her using my last name, but I could understand why she'd done it, and my hesitation evaporated as I quickly undressed Caitlin, but once she was naked, I had to stop again. "God, Cait, you're even more beautiful than I imagined," I said as I admired her naked body.

"Thanks," Caitlin said as she finished undressing me, "and you're even sexier than I thought." I smiled at her as I lowered us onto the bed.

I knew Cait was nervous as she guided me into her, and to be honest, so was I, but I quickly established a rhythm, increasing the pace until I heard Caitlin scream, "Oh, String!", which triggered my own release. Then we lay there, boneless, wrapped in each other's arms, until I finally realized how much I had to have been hurting Caitlin. I began slowly trying to move, but suddenly felt her arms tighten around me like steel bands. "Don't," she whispered.

"Cait, I've gotta be squashing you. I'm so much heavier."

"Do you hear me complaining?"

"No, I don't," I admitted.

"Then just let me enjoy this feeling, String. Enjoy having you in every way, just like I've always wanted you."

"All right." I looked down into the eyes of the woman I loved and saw them shining with every bit of love Caitlin said she felt for me, and I knew she was seeing my love for her in my eyes. _I have never felt as happy as I do right now,_ I thought. Finally, I withdrew from her, pulling her body tight against mine as I fell asleep.

I don't know how long we'd been asleep, but I realized something was wrong when I felt Caitlin turn suddenly in my arms. My eyes immediately opened and I felt her hand reach for my face. "String?"

"Yeah, baby," I said, reaching over and snapping on a light, "I'm here."

"I'm-I'm sorry to wake you up like that, String. I just had this strange feeling that everything that happened last night was nothing but a dream. I mean, I always hoped and prayed you loved me the same way I love you, but I never thought we'd be together like this, and now that we are, it just seems so unreal."

"I understand how you feel, Cait. I mean, I never gave you any reason to think I loved you until recently. But trust me, this isn't a dream. You're really here, with me, and we really made love last night. More than once, as I remember."

Caitlin sighed and smiled, her eyes shining. "Yeah. Well, like I said, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I can understand why you feel that way, like I said, and I'm going to spend the rest of our lives proving how much I love you. But, since we're both awake, I think we should take advantage of the situation, and I can get started showing you how much I love you."

Caitlin's grin told me all I needed to know. "M mm, I was hopin' you'd say that," she said as she slid underneath me again.

Later that morning while we were having breakfast, Caitlin said, "Well, I was right."

"What about?" I had a feeling I knew what she meant, I just wanted to be sure.

"Last night was a night we'll never forget. At least, I know I won't. You were _incredible,_ String. And I learned something last night."

"What?"

"The difference between just 'having sex,' and what we did, which I know was making love. And I love you so much, String."

"Well," I said, grinning, "that puts a lot of pressure on me to make sure that tonight lives up to it, don't you think?"

"I'm not worried," Caitlin said, grinning back at me. "String, I did tell you how happy I am that you've finally gotten your head straight about me, right?"

"More than once, Cait. And I promise you this—I'll spend the rest of our lives making up for pushing you away for as long as I did." I smiled at Caitlin's reaction to my saying 'the rest of _our_ lives,' but I knew I meant it. Now that I'd figured out how I felt about Caitlin, I couldn't see myself living without her.

"I-I can't believe you said 'the rest of _our_ lives,' String," Caitlin said a moment later, confirming my suspicions. "But I feel the same way."

"I'm glad, Cait. And I love you, too. More and more every day," I said, smiling at her. We finished eating and did the dishes together, then went upstairs and got dressed, going outside to sit on the porch a few minutes later.

"I never thought I could be this happy, String," Caitlin said as she snuggled against me. "You really have made me happier than I ever thought it was possible to be."

"I feel the same way. Like I told you before, I wish I'd figured out my feelings a lot sooner. It would have been a lot easier for both of us."

"I know, String, but there's no point in you beating yourself up over what's in the past. So," Caitlin's expression hardened as she looked deep into my eyes, "What's done is done, and we can't change it, so I don't want you to ever bring that up again. Okay?"

"Okay," I replied, and I was relieved when she smiled warmly back at me.

"Good. I mean, this is gonna be a real difficult relationship if you keep holdin' on to all those stupid anxieties and insecurities. Especially when there are so many more pleasurable things we could both be holdin' on to, if you catch my drift."

"Yeah," I said as I turned in Caitlin's arms so I was looking into her eyes, "I think I really do catch your drift." Then our lips met again, and there was no more time for talking.

Later that night, I felt like I needed to say something. "Cait, you know this won't be easy. Aside from the danger Airwolf brings into our lives, you know as well as anybody how much baggage I've got, and"—

"Yes, String," Cait interrupted me. "I know all about the baggage you've got, and your tendency to run back inside yourself. Well, let me tell you somethin', Stringfellow Hawke. When I see you runnin' to that place, I swear, I'll follow you there and drag you back here to me, roped and hog-tied if I have to!" She smiled when she said it, but I could see the seriousness in Caitlin's eyes.

"Just making sure you know what you're getting into, Cait," I said.

Caitlin simply smiled, wrapped her arms around my neck, and said, "I knew what I was getting into the day I decided to come out here lookin' for you, String. But, I'll tell you this—if you don't shut up and kiss me right this minute, I'm gonna"—I cut her off exactly as she requested, with a deep and passionate kiss. When I separated us, after Cait caught her breath, she smiled at me and said, "Well. That's better."

"Wouldn't want you to think I can't follow directions, Cait." I smiled at her and saw her hazel eyes shining with every ounce of love she had for me.

By the middle of the week, I started wondering what we would do when we went back to the hangar, and Cait went back to her own house. I have to admit, the thought of being alone again depressed me. As we ate lunch one day, Caitlin said, "String, I don't want to go home."

"What?"

"You can't tell me you didn't hear what I said, not with that confounded super-hearing of yours. I _said,_ 'String, I don't want to go home'. Unless, of course, 'home' is here, with you."

"Caitlin, what are you saying?"

"Oh, for crying out loud! Do I _seriously _have to spell it out for you? String, I'm saying I want to stay _here_, with you! Do you get it?"

"Yeah, Cait. I get it." So, we flew back to the hangar and told Dom what we had decided.

"Well, I'm certainly glad to hear that!" Dom grinned at both of us before we headed out to Caitlin's house to start moving stuff out. It took several trips, but we were able to finally get her moved into the cabin by later in the day. Fortunately for us, there wasn't anything on the schedule at the hangar.

"Thanks, Dom," Caitlin said as we unloaded the last of her suitcases. "I really appreciate the help."

"My pleasure, sweetheart. But remember, you two, you're still on vacation."

"Oh, we remember, Dom," I said. Caitlin and I stood on the dock and watched Dom as he climbed into his helicopter and headed back to the hangar.

"Well, Cait, I guess there's only one thing to say."

"What?"

"Welcome _home,_" I said, noticing her smile at the emphasis I placed on the word _home._

"Thanks, String. Now," she said, as I noticed a mischievous gleam coming into her eyes, "I think I should show you just how happy I am to finally be here, with you." The glint in Caitlin's eyes left no doubt in my mind what she was thinking, and I smiled as she led me up the stairs into the sleeping loft.

**Six Months Later...**

I had finally decided it was time to make our relationship official. I still remember the expression on Dom's face when I told him I was going to ask Caitlin to marry me. "Dammit, String, it's about time!" Dom said to me.

"You're right, Dom," I said. "It is about time."

"So what are you thinkin', String?"

"Well, I've already sent plane tickets for Cait's mom and her older sister Erin, so they'll be here sometime in the next few days. Oh, and one thing—when you and Saint John meet Cait's mom, don't call her 'Mrs. O'Shannessy'. I made that mistake a few weeks ago when Cait called her mother and told her about me getting my head on straight, and Maggie told me in no uncertain terms that she hasn't gone by 'Mrs. O'Shannessy' since her husband died, and she doesn't intend to start now, especially with any friend of Caitlin's." I had to smile as I recalled the phone conversation I'd had with Maggie, when Cait told her that I'd finally come around to their way of thinking.

"Okay, String. I'll remember that. So, when they get here, you want me to bring them up to the cabin?"

"Right. But, don't tell them about it. And, would you do us a favor and make dinner that night?"

"Sure thing, kid!" Just then, I saw Saint John walking over, which was a good thing, because I had something I wanted to talk over with him.

"What's goin' on, little brother?"

"Dom and I were just talking about something I'm gonna do in a few days, and there's somethin' I want to talk to you about, too, Sinj. I'm planning on asking Cait to marry me, and"—

"You are? Finally!" Saint John exulted. I was glad Cait was in the office with the door closed, so she couldn't hear what was going on.

"Well, Sinj, there's something I'd like to do, but I wanted to talk to you about it, first." The recognition in my older brother's eyes told me he was expecting my question even before I asked him.

"String, go ahead. The note said that whichever of us got engaged first should give our fiancée Mom's ring, so it's okay with me. And before you say anything, I know I told you back in Da Nang that I'd give Mom's ring to Nori, but I asked Michael about her not long after I came home, and he told me she was married with four kids. I guess she got tired of waiting for me."

"Thanks, Sinj," I said, then added, "and I'm sorry about Nori. I sure hope you find somebody someday, and find happiness the way I have with Cait."

"I hope so, too, little brother. I feel like you're more the way you were when Kelly was alive, and if you don't mind my sayin' so, it's damned good to have you back!"

"You got that right, Sinj!" Dom exulted just as the office door opened and Caitlin walked out to join us.

"What are you guys lookin' so happy about?" Caitlin asked as she walked up next to me and slipped her arm around my waist, and I slipped mine around her shoulders.

"Oh, Sinj was just commenting on how much happier I've been lately," I said nonchalantly, not wanting to reveal what else we had been talking about.

"Well, I'll certainly agree with that," Cait said as she looked up at me and smiled. "You've been happier these past six months than you've been since I met you. And I'm glad I've been able to make you so happy, String. Just like you make me happy. Happier than I ever thought was possible." She smiled up at me, and I saw her happiness reflected in her eyes.

"And I'm glad I make you happy, Cait. And I hope I keep doing that for the rest of our lives."

"You've been sayin' that an awful lot lately, String," Caitlin said, causing both Dom and Saint John to stifle grins, "is there somethin' you're not telling me?"

"No," I said, uncomfortable with the fact I'd just looked the woman I loved in the face and lied to her. "Why would you think I wasn't telling you anything?"

"I dunno. Just old insecurity, I guess."

"I think I understand," I said. "But don't worry about it." Then, Caitlin caught the expression on Dom's face.

"Okay, now I _know _something's going on! What's got you so happy all of a sudden, Dom?" Caitlin demanded.

"Like I said once before, Cait, 'I ain't telling!'" Dom laughed.

A few days later, Cait and I were alone at the cabin when I heard a helicopter approaching the dock. _Well, here we go,_ I thought when I recognized the Santini Air helicopter, and I knew without even looking who was aboard. I had landed our helicopter a few feet away so that the dock would be clear, knowing Dom was coming, along with guests. "What's Dom doing here?" Caitlin demanded.

"Well, let's go find out," I said, even though I knew perfectly well what was happening, and why Dom had come. I stifled a smile when I saw Maggie, Erin, Saint John, and Le getting out of the helicopter, but my mood quickly changed when Caitlin glared at me.

"What the heck are Mom and Erin doing here?" she demanded.

"I just thought it might be nice to invite them out here," I said. "You were telling me the other day how much you missed your mother and your older sister, weren't you?"

"Yeah," Caitlin agreed as we walked out to meet our guests, "I guess so."

"Caity! So good to see you again!" Maggie said, then turned to me. "Thank you, String, for inviting Erin and me out here, and for tellin' your brother and Dom not to call me 'Mrs. O'Shannessy.'"

"Well, Maggie, I remember what happened the first time I called you that by accident, and I didn't want Dom or Saint John to make the same mistake I did."

"Good decision, String," Erin said as we walked into the cabin. Maggie was immediately taken by the art hanging on the walls.

"Your brother was right, String! These paintings _are _beautiful! And they're all originals?"

"That's right, Maggie," I said, knowing Dom had moved into the kitchen to start dinner, "our grandfather collected the art, for our grandmother."

"Well, your granddad had good taste in art," Maggie said.

"Thank you, Maggie."

"Y'know, String, sometimes I forget how beautiful this place really is," Saint John said as I moved behind the bar to fix drinks for everyone. "I should come up here more often."

"Our door is always open to you, Sinj."

"Thanks, String." Just then, Dom came out and told us that dinner was ready.

"So, String," Maggie was saying as we ate, "why did you invite Erin and me all the way up here, anyway? It couldn't just have been to let us see all these beautiful paintings."

"Well, Maggie, Caitlin had been saying how much she missed you and Erin, and I thought it would be nice for you to come out here and spend some time with her."

"Oh." I thought I heard something in Maggie's voice that said she didn't believe what I had told her, and her next statement confirmed my suspicions. "I guess I was just thinkin', and hopin', that you had somethin' else in mind, that's all."

"Why would you be thinking something like that?" I asked as we finished eating. _Even though I know what you're thinking, and it's exactly what I do have in mind,_ I thought.

"Oh, just an old woman's wishes, I guess."

"Don't mind String, Mom," Cait said. "He's been actin' awful strange lately. Even stranger than usual, for him, and he won't even tell me what's going on in that gorgeous head of his."

"Well, that doesn't seem right," Maggie said. "String, why won't you tell Caity what's on your mind, for heaven's sake? I thought you loved my daughter!" _Uh-oh,_ I thought. _I better fix this, but fast._

"I do love your daughter, Maggie." Of course, I knew what Maggie was talking about, and why she was getting so agitated, so I decided I'd leave the dishes for later. I made sure everyone had a full glass of wine, and got a soda for Le, as we moved back into the living room. I sat Caitlin down on the couch, and got down on one knee as I reached into my blazer pocket and pulled out Mom's ring. "Caitlin O'Shannessy, will you marry me?"

The absolute silence in the living room made me nervous, especially the longer it lasted. Finally, Caitlin whispered, "God, yes! Yes, of course I'll marry you, String!" She wiped her eyes with her right hand as I slipped the ring onto her left, and then pulled her up with me and kissed her.

"String, I am so happy for you!" Maggie said when Caitlin and I separated. "I had a feelin' you had somethin' like this in mind when you invited Erin and me out here, and I'm sure glad I was right!"

"Yes, Maggie, and I apologize for being so mysterious about it, but I didn't want to spoil the surprise."

"Well, that makes sense. And, welcome to the family, String! I've been hoping to tell you that for a very long time!" She smiled at me as I embraced her.

"Thank you, Maggie," I said.

"And I'm sorry for sayin' 'I thought you loved my daughter' a few minutes ago, String. I was just getting awful agitated that I didn't know what you were up to, and it seemed like you were bein' awful cruel to Caity. But," she said, smiling at me, then at Caitlin, "I can see how much you love Caitlin, and of course, I know how much she loves you."

"Thank you once again, Maggie, and apology accepted," I said. _And if Cait and I have a daughter, and some boy she's dating ever did something like that to her, I'd probably be the same way,_ I thought.

"Congratulations, Cait," Erin said, smiling as she embraced her younger sister. "And String, all I'm gonna say is, you better never do anything to hurt my little sister, or so help me, I'll be coming back here and give you a piece of my mind!"

"I understand, Erin. Don't worry, though. I love Cait very much, and I'd rather hurt myself than do anything to hurt her. And, I can promise you and Maggie both that I'm going to do everything in my power to make Caitlin happy, for the rest of our lives."

"That's good to know, String. And like Mom said, welcome to our family!" She finally smiled at me and gave me a hug, and I was relieved that she was okay with us getting married. Of course, I knew about her own marriage falling apart, and I understood that Erin was worried that something might happen between Caitlin and me, but I meant what I said. I know I'd rather hurt myself than do anything to hurt Caitlin—that's how much I love her. And I know Cait feels the same way about me. _And,_ I thought, _the way I dragged this out, and all the mystery I was projecting, probably didn't help matters any,_ I thought.

"String, where did you get this ring?" Caitlin suddenly asked me. "It's beautiful, and it-it fits perfectly."

"Cait, this was my mother's ring. When their wills were read, there was a codicil with Mom's that said that whoever got engaged first, Saint John or me, should give the ring to our intended. So, the ring now belongs to you."

"I-I can't believe it," Caitlin said. "I guess this means you and I are supposed to be together."

"I guess so," I agreed, smiling at her.

"Congratulations, Aunt Cait!" Le suddenly said. I realized that every time Le had been around the hangar, he'd been saying 'Aunt Cait' whenever Caitlin was around. Saint John had tried to explain to Le that Cait wasn't his aunt, just a real good friend, but it hadn't stopped him. _And I won't stop him now,_ I thought. _Especially since we're about to make her his Aunt Cait, officially._

"Thanks, Half-Pint," Caitlin said as she hugged him.

"Congratulations, little brother," Saint John said after he hugged both Caitlin and me. "I know I've said this before, but you two look good together. I think you two belong together."

"So do I," I said, remembering what Kelly's voice had told me that day aboard Airwolf. Finally, everyone had left, and Caitlin and I were alone at last. I have to admit, I was more than a little worried about how Cait would react about everything that had happened, especially the fib I told her.

"String, thank you so much for tonight. This—this was perfect, especially since you brought Mom and Erin out here. And," she said, looking into my eyes, "I even forgive you for that little lie you told me the other day."

"Which one was that?" _Even though I know the exact lie she's talking about,_ I thought.

"When I caught you sayin' 'the rest of our lives', and I asked you if there was something you weren't telling me. You said 'No,' but I still thought you were pullin' my leg. But now I understand why you said that. I mean, I never thought you were gonna do somethin' like this, but I guess that's why I love you so danged much; and why I always will."

"And I love you, Cait. Always, and forever. And, just like I told Maggie and Erin, I'll do everything in my power to make you happy, for the rest of our lives. I figure it's the least I can do to make up for pushing you away for so long."

"I love the sound of that, String." Caitlin smiled at me, and once again, I knew everything was right in my world. Then she surprised me. "Thank you so much."

"For what?"

"Makin' my dreams come true that day in the hospital room when you told me you loved me. I have been dreamin' of hearing those words from you for _so long, _String. I was beginning to think I'd never hear you say you love me."

"Well, you'll probably get sick of hearing me say it, Cait, because I'm going to be saying it a lot more often from now on."

"Never!" Caitlin said, smiling up at me. "I could never get sick of hearin' you say you love me, String. And I hope you never get sick of hearin' me say that I love you."

"Never, Cait," I said, pulling her close to me and kissing her again.

We were married three weeks later, in a small ceremony on the dock at the cabin. An old friend of Michael's, Judge Ronald Clevenger, performed the ceremony, and Saint John stood with me as my best man, and Erin was Caitlin's maid of honor. Dom volunteered to walk Caitlin down 'the aisle,' which was the walkway to the dock, since her dad was gone. We had honored the tradition of the bride and groom not seeing each other before the wedding, and when I caught sight of Caitlin standing in the doorway of the cabin on Dom's arm, I silently affirmed to myself that she was the most beautiful woman I had ever met.

When Judge Clevenger said, 'Anyone who can show sufficient cause why these two should not wed, let them speak now, or forever hold their peace,' I found myself holding my breath, and noticed Caitlin doing the same. _Although I don't know why I'm worried,_ I thought. _Nobody here would stop this._

Finally, Judge Clevenger continued, "Stringfellow Hawke, do you take Caitlin O'Shannessy as your lawful wedded wife?"

I smiled at Caitlin and said, "I do," as I slipped her wedding ring onto her hand.

"Caitlin O'Shannessy, do you take Stringfellow Hawke as your lawful wedded husband?"

I saw Caitlin's eyes filled with tears, even as she smiled proudly and said, "Yes. I do," as she slipped the ring onto my finger. That brought the tears out of my eyes as well. Finally, I heard Judge Clevenger say, "Then by the power vested in me by the great state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Stringfellow Hawke, you may kiss your bride." I pulled Caitlin close and kissed her with everything I had as Judge Clevenger said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I present for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Stringfellow Hawke!" Everyone applauded as we kissed again.

"Finally, it's official, Aunt Cait," Le said later.

"Yeah, Half-Pint," Caitlin said, her eyes still shining, "now I'm officially your Aunt Cait."

"You and Uncle String look real good together."

"Thanks, Le. I think so, too," Caitlin said, smiling at me.

"Congrats, little brother," Saint John said as he embraced Caitlin, then me. "I agree with Le. You two look great together. Like you belong together."

"I feel the same way, Sinj," I said, smiling as I embraced my brother.

"Congratulations, String," Erin said, smiling at me. "I can tell how happy you make Cait, and that makes me happy. Just remember what I told you, okay?"

"I'll remember, it, Erin. But like I told you before, don't worry about it. If I ever did anything that stupid and hurt Cait, I wouldn't stop you from doing whatever you felt like you had to. But I love Cait way too much to hurt her."

"I see that. And I hope I never stop seeing it!" Erin said, smiling.

"You won't," I promised her.

"That's good to know, String," Maggie said, smiling. "And thank you."

"For what?"

"For letting me stop worryin' that Caity would be alone the rest of her life. I've felt that way ever since she left Texas, but now I can stop worryin'. I see how happy you make her, and like Erin said, that makes me happy. And once again, welcome to our family, String! We're sure happy to have you!" She smiled at me again as we embraced, then everyone climbed into Dom's helicopter to head back to the hangar.

As I watched the helicopter leaving, holding my wife in my arms, I felt my heart beating fast. "Give me your hand, Cait."

"What's going on, String?" she asked me as she offered me one hand, and I placed it over my heart.

"You're the only one who makes my heart beat like this, Cait." She smiled at me, then took my hand and placed it over her heart, and I felt hers beating as fast as mine was.

"And you're the only one who makes mine beat this fast, String," she said, smiling at me. "I've felt that way ever since I met you. And I wanted to tell you something. That first night we were together was something I'd dreamed about for a very long time."

"How do you mean?"

"I have dreamed of being able to run my hands over your back the way I did that night, and touch you the way I did, for a very long time, like I said, String."

"Well, now there's nothing stopping either one of us, Cait, because we belong to each other, for now, and forever."

"Yeah. Just the way I want us to be," Caitlin sighed as she moved closer in my arms.

"String, there was something else I meant to tell you about the day that John broke up with me."

_Uh-oh, _I thought. "Go ahead, Cait."

"Well, he told me that...that he thought the reason I didn't want to sleep with him was because, well, because I was in love with somebody else. And even though I didn't admit it to him, John was right. Because even when I was with him, I was, and always will be, in love with _you,_ String."

"Just like I'll always love you, and always be in love with you, Cait."

"And just like I said the night we first made love, String, I am happier right now than I ever thought I could be, thanks to you."

"I'm just as happy, Cait, and it's because of you," I said, and I meant it. I noticed Caitlin's eyes beginning to darken with desire, and walked us back into the cabin.

Caitlin and I headed straight for the sleeping loft. As we moved into each other's arms again, I said, "Congratulations, Mrs. Hawke."

"Thank you so much, String," Caitlin replied as we began undressing one another. "I am so happy right now. Even happier than I was the night of our first date. I don't think there's a word to describe how I feel, knowing that I can call you my husband." She stopped for a moment and then smiled at me, that same smile I'd fallen in love with so long ago. "I never thought I'd be able to call you my _husband,_ String. But now, I can."

"I feel the same way about you, baby," I said, smiling at her. "I am so happy, and so proud that I'm able to call you my wife. And like I told you before, I'll keep on making you happy for the rest of our lives. That's how much I love you, Caitlin Hawke."

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearin' that, especially from you, String," Caitlin said, smiling suggestively at me as we finished undressing and lay down in our bed.

"Me neither, Cait. Me neither." I smiled as we embraced one another again, and I felt something changing in the air around the cabin. _Like everything's going to be okay,_ I thought later as Caitlin and I fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms. _And I feel like I've found the missing piece in my life. _I remembered the nights I'd spent alone, confused about my feelings, and in the place of that confusion, I felt a happiness unlike anything I'd ever felt as I fell asleep with my wife in my arms, and pondered the future. _Our future,_ I thought as I heard Caitlin sigh happily. _Our future, together._

**THE END**


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